Toto, I've A Feeling We're Not in the Hundred Acre Wood Anymore

I woke up in a cold sweat with my heart pounding this morning. I had a dream that the kids were getting ready for their day, and I had forgotten it was actually the first day of school. I realized that I still needed to pack their lunches and we didn't really have any of our usual lunchbox fare on hand. After I pulled together some less conventional items for their lunches, I began the search for the lunchboxes, themselves. I knew I had bought them but for the life of me, I couldn't remember where I had stashed them. The whole pace of the dream was frantic and stressful and it ended with me out in the school yard chasing my new Thirty-One bag which was being carried away by winds that must have come directly from Oz. I blindly stepped in what I thought was mud only to realize it was quicksand engulfing me right in front of my children as I cheerfully shouted,  "Have a great day! Wash your hands often! Be kind to others, and make a new friend!"

School actually starts next week so I still have time to stock the fridge and pantry with lunch goodies and to hunt down those lunchboxes which shouldn't be nearly as elusive as they were in my first of the season's Back-to-School Nightmares. I know there are some of you moms out there who are ready for that first day to arrive, and while I have organized all the supplies, bought the new shoes, and scheduled those back-to-school haircuts, emotionally speaking, I am not ready. Summer has flown by leaving me in a cloud of chlorinated dust. I had a big Sand Bucket List for the Summer of 2014 and I need another 2 months to check off all those little home improvement projects I wanted to tackle, all those books I wanted to read, and all those field trips I wanted to take with my crew. But alas...we are out of time, friends. Out of time.

Jacob will be a sophomore in high school this year. Ugh. That boy...how utterly rude of him to grow up right before my very eyes. When I dropped him off for his first day of kindergarten, he was so ready...he just went right into his classroom, smiled and waved goodbye. I, on the other hand, did the ugly cry as I made my way down the hall. I will never forget the horrified look on the assistant principal's face as I'm sure he made a mental note, "Yep, she's one of those crazy moms." Jacob came home from school that day informing me that he no longer needed his old buddy, Pooh. It was a tough blow for Pooh and for me. Now, Jacob is learning to drive. He has man hairy legs, and is quickly closing in on 6 feet. There are even times when I hear him in another room, that I mistake him for George. My man child is quickly becoming more man and less child.

Liam will be in his last year of middle school, Nathan in his last year of elementary school, and Vivie in her last year of preschool. I think this was poor planning on my part. Too many emotional milestones at once. It's funny, I have been dreading next year because of the all their firsts hitting at once...first year of high school, first year of middle school, and kindergarten for the baby of the bunch....but I hadn't given much thought to how hard all of  the lasts would be for me. There are days when I feel like I have been a mom for every millisecond of 15 years but when the Back-to-School season hits its peak, it feels like I have only had these four babies for precious minutes.

So for all you mamas who are first time kindergarten moms, I would like to tell you that each year gets a little easier to let them go, but it hasn't for me. Each year seems to go more quickly than the last and each passing year brings us closer to pushing these guys out of our nest. Take heart in knowing that the first day of school can be tough but you will quickly find your rhythm, and kindergarten won't seem like such a big deal...until the end of next summer when you are faced with yet another first day of school. I cry a little on the first day of school every single year and that's okay because motherhood is a difficult blessing at best. We spend all of our time, invest all of our love, and share all of our wisdom in the hopes that our children will someday leave us.