A few weeks ago, I took a laundry basket filled to the brim with white socks needing to be sorted, paired, and put away in their respective drawers upstairs to the game room where 2 of my boys were watching TV. Folding socks is a group project in my house because frankly, the thought of matching on average 224 individual socks every two weeks is mind numbing at best. Yes, 224 individual socks. Trust me, I have done the math and it includes our fearless leader's habit of changing his socks multiple times a day...something George vehemently denies but piles of socks don't lie so he must be doing it subconsciously. Maybe he changes socks in his sleep...maybe he's a sleep socker!
So on this particular Saturday night, my laundry basket and I joined Jacob and Nathan as they were watching Life Story on the Discovery Channel. In case you missed it, Life Story is a BBC production that follows a variety of individual animals and the challenges they face just to survive. I can tell you right now, this was a Nathan pick. That boy loves him some nature shows...especially ones that focus on marine life...but on this particular night, the focus just so happened to be on a leopard. I can also tell you that Jacob was only in the room in an effort to outlast Nathan so he could get on the PS4 and lose his mind in the realm of video game wars. So there we were on a Saturday night, the three of us, sorting and pairing 224 socks (not to mention any tighty whities that were in that load) and watching a BBC production about a leopard and her ability to survive. Yep, I think it's fair to say we know how to party like rock stars.
As fascinated as I am with nature and wild animals, I struggle with these wildlife shows. I explained to Nathan that I remembered watching Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom as a child and how sad I always felt when the lion went in for the kill. Nathan is by far more practical than I was at that age reminding me that the big cats also need to eat. It was as if the stage lights dimmed and the backdrop changed from our game room to the scenic views of the Serengeti. In the distance I could hear the low chants and drum beats of "The Circle of Life." I thought to myself, "You are a grown woman. Suck it up, Buttercup. Let the boy watch his show."
Before I knew it, I was engrossed in this leopard's life and it certainly didn't take long for the program to focus on her need to hunt for food. There she was, this magnificent creature designed by God to chase and overpower her prey, on the tail of some poor less agile antelope. I watched with sheer fascination right up until the moment it was certain the antelope was doomed and then I covered my eyes in anticipation of the horror to come, but my sweet Nathan was keenly aware of my distress so he flipped the channel just in the nick of time, and he said in his tender and protective tone, "We can just watch something else." To which I replied, "Well, maybe for just a moment so we can miss the actual kill scene."
After a few minutes passed and we felt sure that the antelope had indeed met her untimely demise, I told Nathan to flip it back to the nature show. Jacob teased me a little about whether I could handle the show as we watched this amazing creature drag the antelope carcass to safe keeping so she could continue to feed. I dug deep because I wanted to show the boys I was tough enough to watch the show without crying and at this point, it was easy to pretend the carcass was just meat plus the soothing tones of Sir David Attenborough's narration provided ample distraction. What is it about a British accent that seems to lessen the brutality of nature? Suddenly a pride of lions showed up on the scene and my heart began to pound. Jacob laughed, mocking me again, and asked if I could really handle this. If I am anything at all, it is stubborn. The fastest way to get me to do something is to tell me you think I can't do it. Nothing lights up my competitive spirit faster than for someone to question my capabilities...especially if it is something that I know I can do. So with my heels digging into the carpet, I assured him I was just fine. As the lions approached with hopes of stealing the antelope carcass, the leopard dragged that dead animal up a tree going to the highest branches that would support her and the carcass all the while one lion tried repeatedly but unsuccessfully to follow. Just then part of the carcass' internal organs fell to the ground resulting in a bit of a feeding frenzy among the lions. The 3 of us watched in awe but then Sir David informed us that what we thought had been the antelope's stomach or lungs was actually her uterus and apparently it had been clear to everyone but us that the uterus contained a fetus. Well, that was it! My heart sank, I yelled, "NOOOOO!!!" at the TV, and threw my teary face in my hands all the while Jacob was laughing at my response because I thought we had just avoided the fateful undoing of the leopard only to discover the antelope had been pregnant. Nathan instinctively turned the channel and began patting my back. Not that Jacob isn't a sweet and loving kid but he's 16 and Nathan, well, he's 11 but he has always been my little protector whereas Jacob is good at helping me laugh at myself.
After stomaching some random Disney tween comedy for several minutes, we decided we were pretty curious to see what happened with the leopard so we returned to our wildlife program. Things were looking up until Sir David mentioned something about our leopard girl being in heat. Now, George and I have had "the talk" with all 3 of our boys but we never used the phrase "in heat," so although I know Nathan loves a good nature show, I also thought he would be clueless as to what that phrase meant. Clearly, I underestimated my city boy, because as soon as Sir David said those words, I looked at Nathan who was in turn looking at me with shock and embarrassment all over his face. Without hesitation he flipped the channel back to Disney and the canned laughter. Jacob had been momentarily lost in a text and had missed the clear warning Sir David had given us so he told Nathan to turn it back to our leopard which he did before I could even utter my protest. What unfolded after that happened in just a matter of seconds but it played out in slow motion. Nathan flipped the channel to our leopard girl who had clearly been discovered by a male leopard who was well...let's just say getting familiar with her in the biblical sense. Just at that moment, Liam walked into the game room to see this all going down on the big screen, and yelled rather than asked, "What are you guys watching!" Jacob then looked up from his phone to witness the on screen shenanigans and I may have overreacted as I screamed, "CHANGE THE CHAAAAANNNNNNEEELLLLL!!!!" Nathan, was already a step ahead of me, fumbling with the remote as he aimed it at the screen and landed us back on the Disney Channel. There we were, the 4 of us....Jacob, Liam, Nathan, and I....all of us a little red cheeked with slight embarrassment at what we had just witnessed in the company of each other. Awkward silence filled the air for a split second until Vivie...sweet, innocent Vivie...shattered the silence with her quiet little voice startling us as we all turned around to see her standing behind the sofa where unbeknownst to us she had witnessed the whole event. She then simply asked, "Why did you turn it from the leopard?" The boys and I erupted in laughter falling to the floor with tears streaming from our eyes. This awkward family moment was brought to you by Discovery Channel, BBC Productions, and the soothing tones of Sir David Attenborough.
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